Paradigm Shift

I had a huge paradigm shift last night. I had been feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, helpless and hopeless - I was a minus 37 on a scale from 1-10. For the second month in a row the day for the child support/alimony payment to be transferred into my account, came and went with no payment. I completely allowed myself to wallow in self pity and victim energy - I was not in a good place.

Last night I talked with an incredibly wise and insightful mentor who helped me to find my inner strength, take responsibility for my life and my circumstances, and make the decision that failure was not an option. I will not loose my home, move into government housing and live on food stamps. There is no reason on earth that someone with the unique talents and abilities that I have, to live on that vibration level.

Life is the question. I am the answer. I must answer. I must answer yes. Yes to accepting 100% responsibility for myself and my children, for my life and my happiness. I can succeed. I will succeed. I am enough. I am more than enough. I will recognize the "shilop" energy (that is a new word. It's shit, throw up and plop combined for theatrical purposes), look it in the eyes and because of my awareness of what I'm dealing with - choose to make the courageous, powerful choice of being my best self, living my best life, no matter what the circumstance or the people that surround me.

God's plans are much higher than our own. I'm going to relax and lean into the wind, flow with the current, let go and let God guide me. He's really in the driver's seat if I can let go enough of my pride and my ego to allow him to steer. I don't have to see the destination, just the next step I need to take, and then trust Him to always reveal it to me.

I'm in a different place today - just four days after -37 . . . . in fact I could honestly report that today was a 10! Perspective and attitude obviously make all the difference in the world. Everything will work out - Pres. Hinckley, a prophet of God said so, "Be believing. Be happy. Don't get discouraged, things will work out." I can choose my life so I choose to believe him.
~ Julia