Here I am

I got a hand analysis done this week. One thing I learned from it is that my life lessons include working with guilt and self-worth issues. I am very familiar with the self-worth issues. In fact, I was at a workshop this weekend and I found a belief that I didn't fully realize before. I found that I believed that it was safer to be invisible. Interesting. . . I saw that it's true, I would rather be in the background. I may even alter what I order at a restaurant or what I wear in order to be less visable to those around me.
Well, it was time to change that belief. My new belief is about the way I choose to enter a room full of people. I throw my arms out (even if it is just a little), and say to myself "Here I am", as if I were royalty. Because I am. I am the daughter of a King. I am a daughter of God. It serves Him, others, and myself to be visible. I have much to offer and so does everyone. We need to make ourselves more available to offer what we have. Hiding out doesn't give us that opportunity as often.
So, I open my drawer full of beautiful scarves that I've been collecting but been too afraid to wear, and I choose one and wear it. It feels a little scary to be seen, but also right. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone today. Take a risk. Be a little bit more of who you are made visible. It's part of the process of awakening. ~Julie

Paradigm Shift

I had a huge paradigm shift last night. I had been feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, helpless and hopeless - I was a minus 37 on a scale from 1-10. For the second month in a row the day for the child support/alimony payment to be transferred into my account, came and went with no payment. I completely allowed myself to wallow in self pity and victim energy - I was not in a good place.

Last night I talked with an incredibly wise and insightful mentor who helped me to find my inner strength, take responsibility for my life and my circumstances, and make the decision that failure was not an option. I will not loose my home, move into government housing and live on food stamps. There is no reason on earth that someone with the unique talents and abilities that I have, to live on that vibration level.

Life is the question. I am the answer. I must answer. I must answer yes. Yes to accepting 100% responsibility for myself and my children, for my life and my happiness. I can succeed. I will succeed. I am enough. I am more than enough. I will recognize the "shilop" energy (that is a new word. It's shit, throw up and plop combined for theatrical purposes), look it in the eyes and because of my awareness of what I'm dealing with - choose to make the courageous, powerful choice of being my best self, living my best life, no matter what the circumstance or the people that surround me.

God's plans are much higher than our own. I'm going to relax and lean into the wind, flow with the current, let go and let God guide me. He's really in the driver's seat if I can let go enough of my pride and my ego to allow him to steer. I don't have to see the destination, just the next step I need to take, and then trust Him to always reveal it to me.

I'm in a different place today - just four days after -37 . . . . in fact I could honestly report that today was a 10! Perspective and attitude obviously make all the difference in the world. Everything will work out - Pres. Hinckley, a prophet of God said so, "Be believing. Be happy. Don't get discouraged, things will work out." I can choose my life so I choose to believe him.
~ Julia

Facing the Giants

I saw the movie Facing the Giants last night. Although the acting isn't great, I love the message. It's what I've been focusing on for the last several weeks. It's about committing, focusing your efforts, and leaving the outcome up to God. It's about realizing that we don't know what's best for us, what will bring forth the greatest purpose of our lives. We have been given inner desires, the passions and talents we were born with. And they move us in a direction in life. I believe these are the arenas in which we will play. But in order to make the most of our lives, really live our purpose, and influence others in the most significant way, we have to let go of the outcome and we have to ask for help from our Higher Power.
In the movie, the coach does this. He's at the end of his rope. He is full of fear. And so he turns to God and puts all of his trust in Him. The coach, in his asking, receives a download of what to do with his team to make the biggest impact, not necessarily to win. And then he acts on this download of information. He gets his team on board with him. And they work hard everyday, with the right focus. Then some amazing things start to happen. They start winning for one thing, some miracles occur in the lives of many players and then from there other students. He receives gifts that didn't seem in anyway related to what he was doing as a coach, that amaze and overwhelm him.
These are what I believe happen when we have the right focus and we really put in the work in a consistent manner. Karma comes back. We are blessed in miraculous ways. Sometimes the miracles are obvious and sometimes we have to look for them and acknowledge them as such. Today I will do these. I will recommit to the priorities in my life, practice the rituals that I have put in place and act on inspiration, and then I will look for the miracles of today. This is a way to see who we really are and see what we are capable of. It's better than we think. ~Julie