Seeing with new eyes

Yelling, bickering, name calling, contention. The aftermath of abuse in my home. The children just returned from a day of being with their father. I truly don't know how they are when they are away, but when they return to my care, there is definitely an adjustment period that goes on, that isn't any fun.

Patterns are learned and formed at a very young age. Every home models "appropriate" behavior, and beliefs. Paradigms are shaped. When we "grow up", we come to understand that the world isn't as black and white as we might have thought. We understand that the "right and wrong" that we adopted from the training in our home of origin, doesn't always align with reality or truth.

I'm not good enough. I have to earn love. I don't matter. I'm dumb. I can't. I'm a failure. I don't trust. I have no power or control. - Do any of these strike an uncomfortable cord deep inside of you? It's hard work uncovering these lies and then rewriting your beliefs, but it's worth every effort. When we can see "what is", and realize that every circumstance and situation is NEW, we can start to withhold judgement. Stop and think. Breathe deeply. Learn to live life by choice. Judge each moment with new, wiser, more mature eyes. We can start over. Begin to look at life without old filters, making each day an experiment, waiting with bated breath to see what new discoveries we can make.

Now as I type, the children have been kissed and sent off to bed. Besides a song on the radio, all is calm and quiet. In the days to come, they will have to find quiet within their own lives, within themselves. They must earn the peace that comes to a soul after it has been tested and tried, and come out the other side - the victor. Each of us have our own battles to fight, our own war to win. May we be valiant as we prove what we're made of, and lean upon the One who created us for strength and support. He never said it would be easy; He just said it would be worth it! A prize never fought for, has no value. We must pay the price to meet our sacred selves. I've had glimpses of her. I'm determined to find her and become her. There is joy and satisfaction in the journey. It's a great adventure. ~ Julia