Money issues revisited

Almost daily we get chances to awaken more or at least see how awake we are. The other day I had the opportunity to see how awake I am in a particularly difficult area for me.
I've had a history of struggle in the area of finances. It just happened to start about the time I got married and has been on-going, with ups and downs, throughout our marriage. I used to blame it all on my husband and his negative money issues. I thought - he came from the family with financial problems and I came from a family that was financially stable, where money wasn't an issue. So obviously it was all his fault, right? Well, as immature as that sounds, that was how I thought for a long time. But to my credit, I have been consciously working on this for several years now.
Well, the other day my husband came home from work and told me that he had some bad news, his company had cut his salary and eliminated his benefits. Immediately I went to a bad place and started to show some anger toward his boss and later I started on the road of "my husband's got money issues". It really got me for a few minutes because, well, we've just lately started to get to a place of being able to cover the necessities.
Anyway, I left in the car to go get my son at work. While I was out, it hit me. I was headed down a path I'd been on many times before, a path toward hopelessness. But in that moment a big realization came. . . This is a test. It's a test of whether or not I'm truly over it. And I wasn't. That was the bad news. But the good news was that it only took me 10-15 minutes to see what was happening and opt out. And from that moment on I was peaceful. I was in faith. I remembered that God is in charge of the details and that I am abundantly blessed. It was an empowering thing to observe in myself. I have to say - a breakthrough of sorts. So, I sit here this moment writing my blog with a one hundred dollar bill on my lap. That's gotta mean something, right? Maybe I am over it. Maybe the windows of heaven are opening. Even if I'm not, what better way to live than believe that I am? ~Julie