Julia's Journey

I was completely unaware that I was "asleep". I was raised in a home by a Mother who had experienced sexual abuse as a child, this was something she could not control. In her marriage and mothering she became manipulative and controlling. My parent's marriage was not ideal. My Mother "wore the pants" in the family. There was a lot of fighting and belittling. When I married, I guess I thought that what I saw in my home was "normal", that that is how men and women interacted. Respect and trust were not modeled for me, so when those things were absent from my own marriage, I didn't recognize that anything was wrong.

My husband came from a horribly abusive home. I thought we could "break the chain" of abuse, but he was financially, verbally and emotionally abusive, in very subtle ways. After 20 years of marriage, we had seven beautiful children. One night he was fighting with our 14 year old daughter, and ended up throwing her down the stairs and then hitting her, kicking her and swearing at her while she was on the ground. This was different. This I could see. This I recognized as abuse.

Nine months later, when my daughter was slitting her wrists, I was "allowed" to take her to counseling. That's when the abuse was discovered and reported. DCFS began an investigation. The Lord gently guided me to an awakening that I needed to get me and my children safe. Within two and a half months I was divorced.

Everything has changed since that day. My DNA is different, (D - desires, N - nature, A -attitudes). I am a completely different woman today than I was three years ago when I took my daughter to her first day of counseling. I am independent, having awakened to my co-dependence, I've set boundaries, I've lost 50 pounds, I've become a much more nurturing mother and I've awakened to a perspective of abundance that has transformed my every thought and action. I am awake. I am alive. I am so grateful for my incredible journey. ~ Julia