Appreciating what is.

I had my annual breast exam and pap smear yesterday, my mammogram is next week. I'm grateful for the wonder of my body. I'm in awe that I was able to give birth to seven beautiful children. (I get frustrated with the monthly time of feeling irritated, grouchy, angry and sad - that we call PMS. This is one part I would choose to skip if I could.) Yet I love being a woman. I love feeling instantly drawn to a baby's cry, or a child's laughter. I love creation: cooking, organizing, nurturing, planning. There are days that I feel overwhelmed with all my responsibilities, but for the most part, I love being a mother. I enjoy being part of my children's journey. I know if I will but do my very best each and every day, they will follow my example as they carve out their own destinies.

I am grateful for a beautiful, strong, healthy body. I've learned to honor it much better during the last year. When I'm sad or frustrated I'll go on a run now, instead of take a nap or eat an entire half gallon of ice cream. I take a long hot shower or a warm bubble bath with candles instead of staying in a room where contention is brewing.

I would love to be the mother who puts meat and potatoes on the table for dinner every night, or who has warm, freshly baked cookies waiting for her children when they return home from school, but I need to be content with the things I'm willing and able to do. I sing a "good morning song" to wake my children at the start of a new day. We pray and read from sacred scripture morning and night. I make delicious muffins often. I'm an excellent cook, (when I cook). And I put lavender essential oil on the feet of each of my children before I kiss them and send them off to bed.

I don't have to look like anybody else's idea of a "perfect mother". I am the perfect mother for these particular little ones growing up in my home, and they are the perfect children to teach me all the lessons I need to learn. We're all in this together. We're on the same team. (Heated sibling quarrels, PMS and all : ) When they're all grown, I'll get to be the grandma who kisses the babies and then sends them home with their parents. My influence won't be as great as it can be now with my own children. I won't wish away today as I yearn for tomorrow. I'll treasure all that being a stay at home mother brings my way, and be glad for the opportunity to learn, grow, love and progress, right along side my little ones. ~ Julia